Evening Füsters!
Welcome to Sömmer Kamp 2026, the 227th year of Herr Doktor Mediziner Schneebärtchen’s long standing social experiment designed to help you defeat your self-induced demons and to strike fear into the heart of flank meat everywhere! This is the 9th Sömmer Kamp event of the modern era and GG (your game manager and steward of all things Füste) is happy to have you along for yet another trip across the Spielbrett! Give yourself a pat on the back side and a mental thumb’s up and let’s get ready to get it on!
First and always foremost, game play begins at dawn tomorrow morning, July 6th, 2026. Hopefully you’ve taken (or will take) some time to review the Regelbuch (Rule Book; go here) to re-familiarize yourself with the basics of the game and the expectations as a player. GG is going to summarize some of the more significant changes/additions below but it’s always good to take a run through the rules before the Startenfüste (Day 1 of game play). Play close attention to the workout requirements as there have been some subtle changes to many of the categories and you’re going to want to make sure you’re doing what’s required (no less but also no more!).
So without further ado, here’s some of the stuff to be aware as we move forward:
This year’s game is broken into four Periodes:
Periode I: Weeks 1-3
Periode II: Weeks 4-6
Periode III: Weeks 7-8
Höllenwoche (Hell Week . . . gulp): Final week of game play culminating in the Finalefüste
Nothing has changed with reporting. You’ll still always report for YESTERDAY’S activities and those reports need to be in by noon. A couple things here. Please pay strict attention to the date you’re putting into the Daily Reporting Tool (DRT). Remember, you will always select yesterday’s date! If not, there’s going to be issues. Number one reason you don’t see yourself on the Bestenliste is because the wrong date was entered in the DRT.
Bonuses have the same requirements and restrictions as always. Remember, unless clearly communicated by GG, you can never take more than one bonus per day!
For daily exercise, GG said it above and he’ll say it again, make sure you review this year’s workout parameters (go here). Some interesting changes that GG thinks will make most if not all players happy.
Fasting is of course back and ready to make you miserable. More and more research is showing a direct link between fasting and staving off the development of cancer cells so your misery has an incredibly important purpose. Most of our fasts will be dawn to dusk but there’ll be at least one 24 hour fast thrown in there to spice things up (or down?). One other fasting thing to consider: while not a strict game requirement, contemplate adopting an 8 hour “feeding window” each and ever day. What’s this mean? That you only allow yourself food for 8 hours of every 24. So as an example, you can set a feeding window from 10am to 6pm everyday. You don’t eat before 10am and you absolutely do not eat after 6pm. You contain yourself to just that eight hour block. This is basis of “intermittent fasting” and it pays huge health dividends in the long run. Give it a shot for the next 10 weeks and maybe it’ll catch on (look up “autophagy” and fasting in regards to cancer cells and you’ll see why this could be life changing if done consistently).
Homework is still on but now it’s a little more realistic with an every other day plan. Easiest way to do this is to choose even or odd days and just stick to it (go here for the grim details).
GG has expanded sick days from three to five for this game. And you don’t have to be “sick” to take one. If you just need a day off or a mental break, take the proferred sick day and don’t worry about it. Just remember that a sick day only lets you off the hook for exercise; food and alcohol limitations are still in place!
That’s it for game updates!
Now here’s what’s in store for you for Week 1:
First thing tomorrow morning, make sure to start the day by getting on the scale for your Startenfüste weigh-in. Remember to send GG a pic of the scale with your weight clearly visible (and as always, if you have gnarly coyote paws for feet, please wear socks to help GG maintain what’s left of his vision after nine years of weigh-in pics).
Available Bonuses for Week 1 (more detail here):
Long Sömmer Slog #1 - 4 miles
So Many Stairs - 10 flights (that’s nothing, Füster!)
Mile for Time: run one timed mile outside (no dreadmills on this one)
And lastly, you’ll receive the link to your new Daily Reporting Tool tomorrow and your first report will be due by noon on Tuesday for Day 1’s activities!
Alright, Füsters, that’s it for now.
Griswalde Grolar
PS: Questions, comments, concerns, just text GG and we’ll chew over whatever’s got you flummoxed 👍