Alright, everyone, your cries of despair and self-disgust have been heard. GG’s been waiting to see if things would change and they’re clearly not going to anytime soon so it may be time for a first ever (Rona) Rescue Füste. Last Summer (which now seems like a million years ago) GG took an elite group of 16 Füsters through an experiment to push the limits of the standard Füste. GG is willing to look at something like that again, if it will help you get through the COVID-19 (newly gained pounds of flank meat) quarantine. How it’ll work is . . . same basic rules as Winterfüste but GG’s role will be scaled back in general support. You may only get an acknowledgement of your daily report every couple of days and the Bestenliste will be updated as he can get to it (this will be dependent on how many people sign up). Bonuses will be turned off until they’re not, homework is strictly on your own and there’s no “off day” so you can go all out on the exercise (first two weeks will be single punkte Schmerzenfüste only, as defined on the website, then two weeks Doppelt and two weeks Trippelt). And understanding the impact of everything going on right not, there will be no fee for this Füste. GG simply asks that at the end, if you found value here and in past Füstes, you donate something to the Go Fund Me account he’ll be setting up for the development of an app. After WF2020, GG swore up and down he wouldn’t do this again without an app but special times call for special considerations so here we are. If you want to be a part of the RRF, just send GG a text to his phone (707-779-8372; and yes, it’s turned back on and GG apologizes to anyone who texted him in the last two months and was met with a comm’s black hole and resulting existential crisis) saying you’re in and he’ll turn your WF Totemfüste back on. Day 1 will be this Wednesday, May 6th (so go ahead and have one last gross Rona induced blow-out on Cinco de Mayo). First report and initial weigh-in due on Thursday morning, before noon. We’ll go six weeks (and reassess at that point. If the “Stay at Home” rule is still in place, we may opt to extend (as we did last Summer), for those interested . . . either way, this will hopefully help you recover your Summer physique, even though the only person who may see you in a bathing suit this year is that weirdo squirrel that’s always hanging around in the backyard playing with his nuts and giving you the stink eye. Finalefüste will be June 20th, all things considered, and may or may not involve a gathering of sorts (dependent on whatever social contract we’re tied into at that point).

Hope this finds you healthy and Rona-free . . .

PS . . . one item of outstanding WF business is the t-shirts. For obvious reasons and until further notice, t-shirts are stalled out at the local shop that GG was using. We’ll get there. Patience.