HALLO, FÜSTERS AND WILLKOMMEN TO WINTERFÜSTE 23!
This year will be the 224th anniversary of the modern expression of Herr Doktor Mediziner Schneebärtchen’s brilliant device to combat your own internal demons and (for a lack of a better way to say it), defeat your meat. As most of you already know, this game is all about denying oneself that which makes us slow and sick and overly tired, that which makes us plump and soft and heavy in the haunches. By adding a small dose of accountability to your life (a polite way of saying dein Hintern belongs to GG for the next 9 weeks), you are going to see an amazing change to not only your waist line but also your brain cage. The Füste has the ability to break you down to your most basic self, that keening little bastard that keeps you pacing in front of the ice box, the alcohol cabinet, the soft couch and it’s ever present partner in crime, the picture screen. Well, for the next almost two and half months, you’re voluntarily going to put your boot on the throat of that weakness and together we’re going to grind out a level of self improvement that you’ve rarely attempted as an adult. GG would like to commend you on your fortitude of spirit in taking on this incredible challenge and wishes you the best of luck on your journey to the new version of yourself waiting just around the corner on March 4th!
BUT ENOUGH OF THIS SELF -SUCKLING, LET’S GET IT ON!
Right out the gate, let’s talk about what’s different in this year’s game:
There are now three distinct Periode’s in the game, creating defined divisions in calendar game play. Each Periode lasts three weeks (e.g. Periode I begins on Jan. 2, the Startenfüste, and goes to Jan. 22nd). Each Periode offers different bonus opportunities and each has different Schmerzenfüste (exercise) parameters. Probably most important here, most bonuses that are released in a Periode are only good to the end of that Periode (unlike past Füstes where you had all game to get any and all of the bonuses done). Make sure to review the Rule Book (go here) and the Bonus page (go here) to fully understand the implications of this change!
There’s a big change to Schmerzenfüste (exercize) this year and it’s a direct response to a lot of feedback GG has received around workouts. When we get to Doppelt and Trippelt workouts, you will only be able to complete four a week (as opposed to having to do a Trippelt every day in the back third of the game). GG heard loud and clear that 7 day a week Doppelt and Trippelts was a bit of a bridge too far for many players so we’ll try this out and see how it goes.
One significant game addition in relation to the new Periode divisions is that of Skwad Kombat. This is a MAJOR change so pay attention here. Every Füster will be assigned to a Skwad. But instead of working cooperatively with your Skwad, this Füste you’ll be directly competing with them in a open knife fight for the Lokale Legende +3p bonus. Only one Füster out of each Skwad will be awarded this bonus at the end of the first two game Periodes (at the 6 week mark). Out play your Skwad mates for 6 weeks and if you have the most punkte on Feb. 12th, you’ll get the bonus and big bump towards joining the Pantheon of the Gottähnfüste!
There is a big change to one legacy bonus : the Geschirrspuülerfüste Allowance. This is the one where you break a plate on your friend’s doorstep to wish them good luck in the new year (or you gift them fruit or something if you’re a flatwareapologist). This Füste you will be able to visit 9 friends to deliver this lucky gift BUT you can only deliver one gift per week AND if you miss a week you cannot go back and recover that opportunity. Basically, if you don’t drop off your Week 1 “Lucky Friend” gift/bonus during the first week of game play, you’ll lose that +1p bonus opportunity for good. (and so on over the 9 weeks of the game). This will all be reflected in the Daily Reporting Tool bonus drop downs so you won’t be able to mess it up . . .
There is also a new bonus that follows these exact week over week rules: the Schnitzeljagd Allowance. Some old school Füsters will remember the one day scavenger hunts that we used to do during Füste events. Well, GG’s taken that concept and blown it out for the length of the game. Make sure to review the bonus page on the website to get all the details.
There is another new bonus called the Halten Und Fallen Allowance. Make sure to monitor your phone during the day because when you get tapped for this bonus, you will only have 15 minutes to complete it and send proof back to GG, regardless of what you’re doing or where you are . . .
Homework has a different flavor this Füste as well. By going here, you can review the daily requirements for Periode 1. Instead of weekend audits though, you’re going to have to pass a Mid-Term at the end of each of the first two game Periodes and Final Exam at the end of Periode III. You’re going to have to really ramp up the self discipline and get your homework done every day if you want to win the game this year!
Fasting is of course back because GG knows how much you love being hangry (but he knows you also love looking good naked so it’s a fair trade really)! This year there will be six 24 hour Fastentag events (Week 4 of the game is now lovingly known as the Woche des hungrigen Geistes or the “Week of Hungry Ghosts” so, yeah, enjoy that!).
Meatless Monday’s, gone. You can still choose to not eat meat on Mondays but like the man says in the song, you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here. So, do with that what you will.
Some very minor changes have been made to the Schmerzenfüste parameters (again, review the Rule Book). Just double check that you know what you need to earn your Singelt (single) workout punkte during Periode I.
No major changes in how your report to GG but the Daily Reporting Tool has been overhauled and should provide a much improved experience for both the players and the game manager.
COUPLE MORE THINGS TO REMEMBER
If you haven’t already, please head over here to sign your game play liability waiver. Not sexy but GG doesn’t need you taking his double wide just because you made a bad decision to dive head first into a shallow pond, right?
Don’t forget to complete your Startenfüste Assessment tomorrow. You’ll need to weigh-in and send the dreaded wieght scale pic to GG via text (“dreaded” because many of you seem to have a much higher tolerance for coyote paws than GG does and you subsequently refuse to wear socks in your pics . . . yes, part of your game fee is used to pay for GG’s psychiatric well being and recovery). You also need to go here and fill out the actual Startenfüste Assessment sheet.
As always, we begin the game with the Polarfüsten Allowance (Polar Plunge). Requirements are listed on the bonus page but most important to remember is that you have only 72 hours to complete this bonus! After Wednesday, Jan. 4th, it will drop off the DRT and you won’t be able to report it again so get out there and get hypothermic!
Remember, you may only score one bonus a day unless otherwise directed by GG. And you cannot complete multiple bonuses in a single day and then report them on different days to GG (basically stacking the deck). Don’t get caught trying to run a game on GG here. He has eyes everywhere!
Also remember that some bonuses will still be available the full length of the game, namely the Snow Angel bonus and back this year (finally), the Paid Event bonus. Review the Bonus page for more.
For those players who refuse to assimilate to the Apple shaped borg and continue to pointlessly use something other than an iPhone, please remember to download the WhatsApp app as this is the best way for you to send GG your pic and video proofs. Just search for “Griswalde Grolar” on the app and send over a friendly hallo text. Do this for the continued health and wellbeing of your game manager. Danke.
Alright, Füsters, that’s enough for now. You’ve got some work to do (mainly review the Rule Book and Bonus Page) to get ready for the Startenfüste. Maybe go clean out your pantry and fridge of all sugar filled treats and put that lock back on the liquor cabinet cause it’s going to be a long 9 weeks and you might as well get started now!
Finally, GG is both excited and honored that you have chosen to spend time with him this Winter. He’s looking forward to seeing all the amazing things you’re going to accomplish over the next 9 weeks and he hopes that you’ll thoroughly enjoy both his company and you’re time on the Spielbrett!
And as always, may the Füste be with you!
Griswalde Grolar (GG)
