Hallo Füsters!
GG is releasing this week’s update early as there’s a lot going on in Week 5 and he wants you to be fully prepared . . .
First and foremost, Doppelt Workout Parameters begin on Sunday, January 30th (that’s tomorrow for those of you reading this update on the release date). In order to earn a Doppelt (+2p), you must either complete two separate Singelt workouts (e.g. run a 5K and then swim 1500 meters) in one day OR complete a single workout to the defined Doppelt requirements. For the most part, if you do this, the requirement does not completely double the Singelt so please make sure to reference the exact specifications for a Doppelt (and these requirements have changed since the last Füste so please make sure to double check what you need to do!). GG has created a separate page for the workout parameters so you don’t have to search for them in the Regelbuch. You can find this page on the website by looking for the SCHMERZENFÜSTE header or simply go HERE.
Next thing on your mind is probably, hey, we’re like almost half way through the game, right? Where’s the Cheat Day? For you players new to the Füste, the Cheat Day (or SCHUMMELTAG) is a day of celebration and a temporary return to the gluttonous ways of that unfortunate creature, the non-Füster. For one day in the very middle of the game, you are released from the food, drink and exercise requirements of the daily Füste. This means that you may once again eat of the sugar, drink of the alcohol and laze about in your all togethers like a lazy long dog (and as a result, you cannot even score the three daily points so don’t bother asking).
A couple points of clarity here:
If you have truly been Füsting to your full potential and you go after your Cheat Day with unbridled gusto, you are going to feel like warmed over scheisse the next day. So maybe temper your desires with a little self control or you will unquestionably pay for your enthusiasms (and GG reserves the right to say “I told you so” when you complain the next day about how terrible you feel).
While you don’t have to actually cheat on the Cheat Day, you cannot earn the three daily points so do what you will with that information . . .
And yes, you may still complete bonus activities for bonuspunkte on the Cheat Day (so the day is not completely void of value for those of you with “the sickness”).
Traditionally, the Cheat Day falls on the Saturday of Super Bowl weekend and GG has had a standing deal with Füsters who would prefer to take their day off on Sunday instead: in order to transfer your Cheat Day, you would need to complete a Doppelt workout that day (so double workout before the game AND you get no points for it). Having said all that, the NFL (working independently from the Füste LLC) has decided to push the Super Bowl to the SECOND weekend of February. This means it no longer aligns with the middle of a ten week Winterfüste event and the Cheat Day. So . . . where does that leave us? GG is willing to maintain the past deal if that’s really what you want to do, understanding that your Cheat Day will now not fall in the middle of the game and won’t be until the end of Week 6. Doppelt requirement on the day of the game will still be a strictly enforced. If you choose to go this way, just let GG know your intent in advance . . .
As we close out January in two days, it’s time for GG to take stock of this month’s STRAVA bonuses. Because there is no way for the DRT to account for and limit points reported, many players have unintentionally scored themselves more than the allowed 10 total STRAVA Challenge bonus points for this month. This means that their current game total (and place on the Bestenliste) is erroneous. The only way for GG to deal with this is to complete an audit of every player to make sure they don’t have more than 10 STRAVA points through Jan. 31. This audit will take place on or around Feb. 1 and will result in your total point count being reduced as needed. So don’t freak out if this happens to you (and you should already have known you had over reported if you were paying attention to the game rules). And since GG will be in there under the hood, he’ll be fixing any other reporting issues he finds (e.g. anyone who over reported KoGs or Doppelts when only Singelts were legal etc.). A good Füster is an accurate Füster and you should welcome this work to make sure you’re where you should be in the game.
While we’re on the topic of STRAVA, GG is going to limit the number of earnable STRAVA points in February to only 5. That means you can complete two +1p bonuses and one +3p bonus (or just one of the bigger bonuses but no matter what you do you won’t earn more than +5p for the month) . The unforeseen limitations of the DRT when it comes to this bonus concept is just too overwhelming for GG to deal with. He’ll have a solution for future Füstes . . .
And as the saying goes, when Doktor Mediziner Schneebärtchen closes a mouth hole, he sends you a long dog, whereby the limitation to STRAVA bonuses hits just as Olympic game play comes on line. Starting next Saturday, you’ll be able to compete in a kompetition inside the kompetition as you battle to earn Olympic medals by completing specific physical feats based on Olympic categories. More to come on what this looks like later this week. But prepare yourself for the Torch Run Bonus on Friday as we celebrate the opening ceremonies . . .
Continuing in the the spirit of the Olympics, don’t forget that you earn your first Olympische Ringe by the end of this weekend. You’ll remember that if you score all three daily points every day from Jan. 10th to Jan. 30th then you earn your first Olympic Ring (Blue) of the five rings needed to earn the big +15p bonus at the end of the game. The second Olympic Ring (Yellow) hits this week too if you completed all 8 of the fasting days through this Thursday. You don’t earn any points with the rings but you can finish Week 5 out with two of the five rings in hand!
Another big bonus hitting this week is Dry January. The Dry January Bonus is a sizable +5p bonus earned by anyone who did not drink a single swallow of alcohol from Jan. 10th through Jan. 31st (this Monday). If you did this successfully, Tuesday morning you may report on the DRT that you earned this very impressive bonus. If you’re going to earn this bonus then you’ll need to take Monday off from other bonuses so you can report the Dry January Bonus without issue on Tuesday. So just consider it a nice little break from the madness. If you’re not going to earn the Dry January Bonus, then you can complete other bonuses on Monday without restriction . . .
And while we’re on the topic of Dry January, let’s pause for a moment and talk about personal integrity. While the Füste is just a game, many, many players take it VERY seriously (and they paid cold, hard cash to be here). GG has no way of actually knowing what you do each day with your mouth hole. You might be filling it with donuts and ale for all he knows. And you’re on your honor for how you report each day when it comes to Foodenfüste and Drunkenfüste (as you well know). If by some crazy chance you had a little slip up over the last month and did not report it on the DRT (so you had that donut or drink but still awarded yourself the associated daily points), that’s fine, GG can’t do much about it. But he implores you to not take the Dry January Bonus or your Blue Olympic Ring if that’s the case. Many players went through personal hard ship to earn every point every day. If you didn’t, it’s not a good look to say you did. GG’s going to just leave this right here as uncomfortable as it is. He’s not going to ask about it or mention it again. If you earned the bonuses, award yourself appropriately. If you didn’t, well, karma can be really nasty. Just sayin.
GG knows this was a long update this week and he thanks you for your attention here (he thanks you so much that he’s going to offer a little bonus activity for those who read all the way through: send GG the answer to the following riddle to earn a +1p bonus . . . How many long dogs does it take to make a “quiver”? (answer is located on the website if you know where to look) . . . get the answer right, text it over and GG will award you the bonuspunkte himself, no need to report it on the DRT).
Okay, that’s way more than enough for a Saturday morning. Good luck with your first Doppelt tomorrow and everything else going on during this very busy week!
GG