Mini-Update Aug. 10th

Evening Füsters . . .  here's a quick update for you.

First, tomorrow begins the final two weeks of Sömmer Kamp. As such, Trippelt Schmerzenfüste will begin. Complete three times the standard workout parameter and score a +3p! You can either just triple something (e.g. 15K run or three hours on the bike etc.) or do three separate single workouts or a doppelt of one and a single of another . . . You may do Trippelts for three days in a row and then you need to stand down to a single again. And yes, you may still continue to score just Doppelts if you don't feel like pushing on into that third tier of schmerze.

Second, we have an official venue for the Sömmer Kamp Finalefùste Konfrontation! We'll be at Spring Lake at the Shady Oaks picnic site. More details to come but make sure you're available on Aug. 25th in the late afternoon to attend the final day of Sömmer Kamp and support your Gruppen in what's sure to be a battle for the ages!

Third, start getting your Drachenfüste proposals into GG as we are only 7 days away from the final week of SK18. What's a Drachenfüste? Here's a reminder: it's basically the ultimate individual bonus allowance . . . and the whole point of your daily Schmerzenfüste. During the final week of Sömmer Camp (Aug. 18-25th), "slay" your personal dragon by completing a single workout that equals a quadruple standard workout parameter. For example, you're a runner and have been religiously completing the 5K daily runs for +1p, then graduated to the Doppelt 10K and even a couple of the Trippelt 15Ks (yes, that's coming soon). Well, SK18 is seven weeks long and that's just the right amount of time to get you to 20K (i.e. a half marathon). Complete the 20K, slay your Drachen, get +10p. You may use any of the Schmerzenfüste parameters to complete this uber-workout: running, walking, cycling, swimming, etc. You can even propose a combination of the parameters or design your own personal sufferfest . . . just make sure it's long and painful and a true challenge for you to complete and GG will give you the green light.

And finally, with only two full weekends of Füsting left, there's never been a better time to go out there and earn some bonuspunkte! Throw a wasserballon at someone's head, combo a 2018ft hike to a nice picnic spot next to a water hole you can jump in! Take a friend and their dog for a walk, sleep out under the starts, Schmerze after midnight . . . there's a ton of ways to get that punkte. And how bout one more? Stay up late on Sunday night to watch the most impressive show of the year as the Perseid meteor shower comes to town. You'll need to get somewhere away from city lights but once you do you can see 50-100 meteors an hour into the early morning. Do it and report back how many meteors you saw to earn a +3p individual bonus (can't wait till Sunday night and want a damn +1p bonus right now: text GG the answer to this riddle . . . What is always at the end of everything?)

That's it for now. Have a great weekend and as always, may the Füste be with you.

Game Update August 6th

Morning Füsters . . .

Hopefully everyone enjoyed their Betrügentag (hopefully everyone knows what GG is talking about and if not, I guess checking the Twitter feed occasionally would be of value). GG has seen some evidence that a few Füsters enjoyed it a little TOO much resulting in some nausea and discomfort. Re-introducing massive amounts of sugar into your body after a month will do that to you. Moderation is the key to having a good cheat day. Live and learn.

A couple of updates:

• We have passed the halfway point and are coasting into the final three weeks of Sömmer Kamp. There is a massive amount of bonuspunkte left on the playing field for almost all Füsters so get out there and earn some of it! Don't just stand idly by and let The Wolf run the game!
• Your Hausaufgaben Assignment for Week 5 is to complete four rounds of the following: 10 standard push-ups, 20 sit-ups (do not secure your feet), 30 air squats (or 60 second wall-hold) and a 60 second plank. You'll want to practice this assignment at least three times this week.
• Only one Hungriger Geist Day this week and it's tomorrow (Tuesday, Aug. 7th 06:18am to 20:13pm). Wonder why GG puts you through this? Click here to read an article about the benefits of intermittent fasting. 
• Don't forget that it's time to start putting together your Drachenfüste proposal for GG. You don't want to miss out on the final +10p bonus of the game!

Short update this week. Hope you're all having the best Füste you can have. Talk soon.

Game Update July 30th

Morning Füsters! Here's your Monday morning update for Week 4 . . . 

• First up, GG apologizes for delays last week in posting to the Bestenliste and being slow to respond. There's a lot going on right now and GG has only so much bandwidth. Hopefully things will go a little smoother this week!
• IMPORTANT! Week 4 starts Doppelt Schmerzenfüsten! For those of you new to the Füste, this means you now have the opportunity to earn double the daily Schmerzenfüste punkte by simply increasing your output. Two ways to do this: either double a standard workout parameter (run a 10K instead of the standard 5K) or complete two separate parameters (ride your bike for an hour and then run a 5K). Doppelt Schmerzenfüste will increase your daily Schmerzenfüste earning from +1p to +2p. Because some players are complete maniacs, GG will be monitoring this activity closely. You may only complete Doppelt work-outs for three days in a row and then you must step back down to the standard single. We here at The Füste take the risk of sports related injuries seriously and don't want any more players on the DL! Good luck!
• It's time to get hangry again. Two HG days this week: Tuesday and Friday.  Remember this is a dusk till dawn fast. Tuesday will be from 06:12am to 08:23pm. Friday will be 06:15am to 08:18pm. Clear liquids only. Bon appetit!
• Let's not forget to do your homework: Your Hausaufgaben Assignment for Week 4 is to complete three rounds of the following: 10 standard push-ups, 20 sit-ups (do not secure your feet), 30 air squats (or 60 second wall-hold) and a 60 second plank. You'll want to practice this assignment at least three times this week.
• Bonus time! A whole slew of new bonus opportunities have been added to the website. Click here to check them out! GG will be ramping up the Sömmer theme with the bonuses as we enter into August so get ready to go outside and have some fun!
• "That hurt!" Yep, life, like beauty, is pain, especially when you get nailed with a full wasserballon! Water balloon attacks have been on the rise and with them a lot of individual punkte is getting awarded. Don't get left out! Attack someone now! Remember, GG changed this bonus allowance from Gruppen points to individual points which means you can earn a total +10p to your personal punkte total over the course of the game. [One note here: if you don't want to cause your target too much discomfort, hit them hard the first time. GG has noted that wasserballons thrown at less than full velocity will not break but instead leave a welted and irritated target staring at you in disbelief]
• Half way there! Well almost. We are rapidly approaching the mid-point of Sömmer Kamp. That means it's time to start thinking about your Drachen. What's that? Well, it's basically the ultimate individual bonus allowance . . . and the whole point of your daily Schmerzenfüste. During the final week of Sömmer Camp (Aug. 18-25th), "slay" your personal dragon by completing a single workout that equals a quadruple standard workout parameter. For example, you're a runner and have been religiously completing the 5K daily runs for +1p, then graduated to the Doppelt 10K and even a couple of the Trippelt 15Ks (yes, that's coming soon). Well, SK18 is seven weeks long and that's just the right amount of time to get you to 20K (i.e. a half marathon). Complete the 20K, slay your Drachen, get +10p. You may use any of the Schmerzenfüste parameters to complete this uber-workout: running, walking, cycling, swimming, etc. You can even propose a combination of the parameters or design your own personal sufferfest . . . just make sure it's long and painful and a true challenge for you to complete and GG will give you the green light.
• If you made it all the way through this update, text GG the German word for "overkill" and earn a +1p individual bonus. 

Alright, everyone. That's it for now. Enjoy Week 4 and may the Füste be with you!

Game Update July 23rd

Morning Füsters . . . GG hopes everyone had a pleasant weekend.

Couple things. First, some clarification on reporting. It seems GG caused some unintentional confusion with his trip to the coast last weekend. So to be clear, moving forward from this point, the only day you do not report off to GG is Sunday. Hold your reports for both Saturday and Sunday until Monday morning. You will still report off Monday through Saturday. Hopefully this makes sense. 

GG is making a modification to the swim Schmerzenfüste parameter after considerable review of existing data. It seems that most who get in the pool are accomplished swimmers and that 750m takes under 20 minutes which makes this a wildly unimpressive work-out requirement. So moving foreward GG is changing this to a timed requirement. 45 minutes in the pool, regardless of length of swim. Anyone who is new to swimming and just dipping a toe in the water may request a lessened parameter by contacting GG directly.

Your Hausaufgaben ("Homework") Assignment for Week 3 is to complete four rounds of the following: 7 standard push-ups, 15 sit-ups (do not secure your feet), 20 air squats (or 45 second wall-hold) and a 45 second plank. You'll want to practice this assignment at least three times this week.

And one last thing, GG has a sneaking suspicion that many are not reading these updates . . . so if you are, text GG "MUNDLOCH" by 5pm this evening to receive a +1p individual bonus. And GG need not remind you that alerting other Füsters (who are not reading these updates) to this bonus opportunity only hurts you as your goal is to earn more punkte than all other Totemfi!

Alright, that's enough for a Monday. Don't forget tomorrow is HG Day #3. Yah! 

Game Update July 20th

Good morning, Füsters! Just a quick update as we approach the second weekend of Sömmer Kamp . . .

• CHANGE IS GOOD . . . Sometimes we all make mistakes. In this case, GG made one without even realizing it. The Wasserballon-Angriff Bonus Allowance was always meant to be a Summer version of the Geschirrspuülerfüste Allowance (braking plates) and as such it would be an INDIVIDUAL bonus allowance. Somehow, when putting together the Sömmer Kamp information, GG inadvertently placed it in the Gruppen column. So now it's time to walk that mistake back. Starting today, the Wasserballon-Angriff Allowance scores punkte for your individual total. Those who have already launched attacks will have those points moved over to their individual totals with no detrimental effect to their Gruppen total. Also, some clarified parameters for scoring this bonus: the wasserballon must strike your victim above the knees, it must break on them and you must provide GG with video proof of your successful attack. Alright, that's it. Good luck and happy hunting!

• KNEE NOISE . . . Are you having issues with the air squats as assigned in your homework? Knees popping and cracking and grinding because, let's face it, you're no spring hähnchen anymore? If this is the case, GG is offering an alternative to the squat. It's called a "wall hold" and those who have Füsted in the past will be familiar. For the rest, a wall hold is where you lean up against a wall and then slide down until your thighs are parallel to the floor. You then hold this position against the wall with your arms held out in front of you (they cannot be used to help support your weight in any way). If you're having trouble with the air squats, go ahead and switch over to wall hold. For this weeks homework, instead of 20 air squats, you may do a 45 second wall hold. All future homework assignments will have the option.

• AND EVEN MORE BONUSPUNKTE . . . The website has been updated with even more bonus options and opportunities. Take a look and go get your bonuspunkte!

• MEIN GOTT I'M HUNGRY . . . Today's another HG day so hopefully you're already light headed and irritable like GG. Stay strong today. The more days of intermittent fasting you complete the heavier hit your flank meat will take. There's a strong scientific backing for making yourself this miserable and you'll thank GG when your skinny jeans slide on in September and make your back side look like two baby bears in a picnic blanket. Next week has only one HG day on Tuesday so there's that . . . 

• SUNDAY IS A DAY OF REST . . . alright, so as in past Füstes, GG is placing a moratorium on reporting off on Sundays. This means YOU WILL NOT REPORT OFF TO GG ON SUNDAYS. Hold your report for Saturday and Sunday's activities until Monday morning. This gives us both a break and keeps your GG emotionally healthy. Do you still report on Saturdays for Friday's activity? Yes, yes you do. Do you report on Sunday? No, no you don't. 

That's if for today's updates. Have a great weekend and get out there and earn that punkte! You guys are doing an amazing job so far. Keep it up and may the Füste be with you!

WEEK 2 ANNOUNCEMENTS

Alright, Füsters, you've had a week to get oriented to the Sömmer Kamp experience and if you're still here then GG assumes you're ready to get serious! 

New for Week 2: 

• Hungriger Geist starts this week! On both Tuesday (7/17) and Friday (7/20), you will be expected to fast from dawn (~5:59am local time) to dusk (~8:32pm). And by "fasting" GG means nothing but clear liquids shall pass through your mouth hole. What if you get up before the sun rises? Then you can do whatever you please . . . but at 5:59am you belong to GG. For each successful HG day completed you will earn a +1p individual bonus in addition to your daily Foodenfüste punkte. The more HG days you survive, the bigger the chances are of earning significant bonuses . . .
• Your Hausaufgaben ("Homework") Assignment for Week 2 is to complete three rounds of the following: 7 standard push-ups, 15 sit-ups (do not secure your feet), 20 air squats and a 45 second plank. You'll want to practice this assignment at least three times this week.
• And with your new homework assignment comes the first chance of Prüfungfüsten, or being "audited" by GG so make sure that you've been doing what you should be. Der Prüfungfüsten Allowance is detailed on the Bonuspunkte page (see next bullet point for link).
• Click here to check out all the new Bonus Allowances available for bonuspunkte! Each week a number of new bonuses will become available to help you earn as much punkte as your greedy little Totemfi heart desires!

That's all for now, Füsters. GG hopes you're enjoying yourself and that your flank meat is starting to slowly realize the predicament it's found itself in. Don't let off the pressure now! Good luck on the HG days (they're not easy and GG will be suffering right there with you). It's particularly challenging to earn your Schmerzenfüste point while fasting but it can be done. Please be safe and smart about it though and only push yourself as far as you know you can go. Make sure you're doing the functional "homework" assignments as well. They are going to help you firm up that sad excuse of a "core". And you definitely do not want to fail an audit. So there's that incentive too. Alright, that's enough self-suckling from GG. Let's get it on and may the Füste be with you!

FRIDAY THE 13th ANNOUNCEMENTS!

 

• MEIN GOTT! 

Did you come out of the starting gate like the thoroughbred you knew you could always be? If you scored all three of the daily punkte (food, drink, exercise) on each of the first three days of Sömmer Kamp than you just earned yourself a +1p individual bonus! GG loves to reward great work so keep it up and who knows what else is in store for you in the coming weeks!

• YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, RIGHT?

GG has heard that some Füsters are playing without knowing who they are . . . apparently because they did not get their Totemfüste assignment email last Sunday. If this is you, please check your registered email's junk or spam folders and you'll find it there. If not, please let GG know so that he can get you your information!

• HOW DOES THE "HOMEWORK", UH . . . WORK? 

GG's been getting a lot of questions on this topic so let's clarify the concept. The "homework" assignments are designed to slowly build-up your functional strength. They are completely independent of the daily Schmerzenfüste (exercise) requirements and earned points. You don't report on your homework or send proof to GG. You don't get points for it either. The elements of the homework assignment have nothing to do with anything else in the game (e.g. Week 1's homework assignment involves a 30 second plank X3; these planks cannot be used for your Plankenfüste Bonus Allowance). Do the assigned homework at least three times a week (yes, it's easy right now but it'll get a lot tougher) because GG is going to randomly audit you starting in Week 2. If your name is pulled from the Hut Sortieren, you will receive a text with directions to complete a quick functional assessment iteration (QFAI) and you will need to send GG video proof that you completed it successfully. If you pass the audit, you will be rewarded. If you fail, you will be punished. The Füste is just life disguised in an interweb skin suit. Isn't accountability fun?

• MRS. VOORHEES, I PRESUME? 

Tomorrow is Friday the 13th and you have an opportunity to earn more bonus punkte! Take the Hockeymaske Challenge by sending GG a picture of something that represents the superstitious nature of this day! For example, a black cat, an umbrella open indoors, a broken mirror etc. (looking for creativity here). Do it, snap it, send it to GG and earn +1p. 

• WOCHENENDE

We're coming up on the first full weekend of Sömmer Kamp and GG is very interested to see how it goes for everyone. I imagine you'll be tempted at every turn. Shotgun a half suitcase of your favorite grog, eat an entire chocolate cake with an oversized spoon while wearing nothing but a garbage bag, laze around poolside and toast up that pork belly you call your "abs". Or get out there and kick Sömmer Kamp in the teeth by being active and healthy and dedicated to a better version of yourself! You pushed hard all week, don't let up now!

• HOURS OF OPERATION

GG will be off the grid (literally) starting Friday afternoon and until Sunday evening. Go ahead and report off Friday morning for Day 4's activities (including any Hockeymaske Challenge pics) but then hold your reports for Friday, Saturday and Sunday until Monday morning (or Sunday evening if you're really hung-ho). This goes for all Dachshundfüste and Plankenfüste pictures and video proof as well. GG will not have cell coverage so he won't see anything you send until he gets back to civilization so . . .