So there he was, your flank meat, just minding his own business after the holidays, fat and happy like a summer tick latched lovingly to a dog’s hind quarters. But then you had to go and do this “Füste” thing (some not for the first time) and now suddenly his life has turned upside down. Where are the big meals, the steins of fine ale, the glasses of wine and the tumblers of amber liquid poured languidly over singularly large and perfect cuts of ice? What happened to the gravy and the potatoes, the breads and the baked goods and all those deserts? Suddenly, his life, your flank meat’s very existence, has been called into question by your selfish (so selfish!) newly practiced self discipline! Do you mean to destroy me, he wants to yell up at you (but of course, having no mouth and being primarily a tube of adipose wrapped around your midsection, buttocks and thighs, he cannot emote or communicate outside of growing or shrinking). And after only the first four days of Winterfüste, you can smugly look down at him and say, “FU, pal, your reign of terror is coming to an end”.
That’s right, you’re now going on five days free of the trappings of sugar, fermented or otherwise, and the unholy nightmare of “processed” food stuffs, designed specifically to keep you sedated and thoughtless, overstuffed and sluggish and incapable of questioning the “why” of anything important. But soon, very soon, detoxification will begin, your hands will steady, your tongue will freshen, your blood will flow free and your eyes will be bright and constant. This “veränderung” (or change) as Mediziner Schneebärtchen called it, will come over you and like the simple caterpillar that retreats to it’s chrysalis to emerge later as a winged schmetterling, so shall you have changed into something powerful and lean and healthy (but probably without flight capability).
So GG commends you, as always for stepping onto the Spielbrett and taking this collective journey of self-improvement, one that so many before you have taken over the last two hundred years.
But enough of this self suckling, let’s talk shop . . .
You have survived the introductory period of WF19 and you have managed to not strangle or injure any bystanders. Good for you. But now it’s time for the game to really begin and this week, “Week 1”, will see several of the core game principles come into play.
Fasting: Tomorrow, January 7th, begins the Fastentag tract. From here until game’s end, every Monday and every Thursday, if you so choose, you will perform a water only fast from sun-up till sun-down. Unlike its big bad brother HG Days, Fastentag does not allow for any caloric consumption during the fasting period. Water only (yes, you may consume water based “brews” like black coffee or tea, but that is slightly self-defeating). Be very careful if you are new to fasting as your system may be unprepared for a complete interruption of caloric uptake. If you become light headed or dizzy, eat something. This challenge is only worth 0.5p for each completed day, so it’s not worth keeling over and smashing your brain pan on the floor. If you manage to complete all 16 Fastentag Days for WF19, there will be a +5p bonus waiting for you the evening of Feb. 28th (but that is a long, long ways away). For those Füsting in NorCal, sun-up tomorrow is 07:26 and sunset is 17:05. Those playing in the Southern Expansion Pack will see sun-up at 06:52 and sunset at 04:58. If you will be partaking in this challenge, good luck and please make good decisions.
Hausaufgaben: This week also introduces you to “homework”. The controlled destruction of your flank meat is not enough. You must seek to also rebuild yourself, to gain muscle where you once had only soft flesh. To help prod you into this uncomfortable activity, GG will assign you Hauaufgaben. Each week you will receive a work-out based homework assignment that you will need to complete at least three times during the week. This work out will include body weight work out dependencies only (meaning you will not need any equipment to complete). Because it is not practical for you to send proof in every time you complete your homework, GG reserves the right to audit you at any point in the game (his version of “drop and give me 20”). When called upon to complete an audit, you will have until 17:00 hours that day to send video proof of completion to GG (or JJ for the SEP players). Failure to submit or failure to complete the audit will find you sucking punkte from your Gruppen total like a black hole with a bad attitude. Pro-Füster tip: do your Hausaufgaben immediately after completing that day’s +1p Schmerzenfüste (exercise). It will be a lot easier than trying to motivate yourself to do the assignment cold.
Week 1’s Hausaufgaben Assignment is to complete three rounds of the following:
5 push-ups (20)
5 forward lunges each leg, 10 total (22)
10 sit ups to twist (52)
10 squats (1) or 20 second wall hold for those with bad knees (to complete, stand with your back to a flat wall, press your back against the wall and slide down until your thighs are parallel to the floor, hold your arms straight out in front of you and hold position)
10 hip bridges (28)
5 v-ups (50)
30 second plank (as always, planks performed on forearms)
The number in parentheses after each of the iterations above corresponds with the explanation of said maneuver on a good reference page found HERE.
What happens if you get sick or injured during WF19? If this happens, you may have to go onto the DL or “disabled list”. If you move to the DL, your Gruppen will not be penalized and they will continue to receive your +3p each day that you are out. You, however, will continue to be held to the same daily standard as always UNLESS you take a Krankentag or “sick day”. Each player is allowed exactly three Krankentags per Füste. Taking a Krankentag means that you are too ill to be held to the performance requirements of the game for that day. You will receive your full +3p with no questions asked. However, be aware that Krankentags are meant to be used ONLY when you are very, very ill or injured. If you are found to have taken a Krankentag when not ill, simply so you could indulge yourself freely of all those things that would seek to destroy you, you will be immediately 86’d from the game with no refund. Krankentags are a show of mercy to you, the good Totemfi. Do not abuse said mercy.
No new individual bonuses will be released this week, but Week 1’s Plankenfüste Gruppen Bonus Allowance has been updated on the website.
Did you actually read this entire blog entry? If so, don’t forget to add the phrase “Der Wolf kommt” to tomorrow’s morning report-off (remember to include a report for both Saturday and Sunday’s activities). You’ll earn a +1p bonus for your reading comprehension skills.
That’s all for now. GG (and JJ) would like to commend everyone on their attention to the daily reporting aspect of the game. To date, reports have been made early each day, which is a gott schicke to the game managers. Excellent work, everyone! Also, GG would be remiss if he did not comment on how impressed he is with so many T-Füstes hitting the really difficult bonuses early. It has been a long time since so many have “ice watered” or “snow angeled” during the first five days of a Winterfüste event. Truly commendable! Keep it up and möge die Füste mit sein!
GG